i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
