He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
