Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
