i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Text me some of your sweat
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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