Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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