I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Randomize
