I want to stick my p in your. b.
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
