What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I intend to get homeless drunk
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
