Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Randomize
