i may or may not be watching the land before time
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
