So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I don't deserve a penis
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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