i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
