1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
