Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
