I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
