Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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