Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I am naked and annoyed.
Randomize
