also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Damn victory sex feels great
Randomize
