If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
