i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
