Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
