Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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