He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Randomize
