dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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