i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
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