it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
