shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize
