I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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