Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished�
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
