I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
