On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Everything about him screamed your future.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
