Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
