woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
