Umm I'm too high to move.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
