if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
