god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
