He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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