it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
