I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
