k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
