i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Randomize
