My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
