remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
