He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
