Whatcha textin bout Willis?
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
