Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
