I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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