Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
