that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
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