She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I love you.
Bad choice
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
