Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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